Letting It Win.

I am not ashamed of my depression. I am, however, ashamed of what it stops me from doing at times. Today, I should be at work but I know that my day would be better spent resting, recharging, and centering myself. There is always a twinge of embarrassment when I text my supervisor and let him know that, once again, I need some sick time. Many of my friends have an insane number of sick days stored up- I fear the day when I run out of hours because of the doctors appointments or days like today when I can’t get out of bed. I am terrified that people think I am lazy or incompetent- a bad employee. This is what depression does to you- it stops you from doing what you love and then piles on the guilt, embarrassment, and shame.

Some days depression is going to win, but that is okay. Sometimes losing a battle brings you one step closer to winning the war.

 

One thought on “Letting It Win.

  1. Juansen Dizon says:

    You made the right decision of not showing up to work today šŸ™‚ Sometimes you just have to let depression have its victories y’know? And you’re a beautifully damaged girl.

    Like

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